


I Think She Likes Girls

by awkwardrainbow



Series: Drabbles, One-Shots, and Unfinished Ideas [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clarke is really in love with her Boyfriend's sister, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Lexa is really in love with her brother's girlfriend, Light Smut, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:16:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardrainbow/pseuds/awkwardrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa liked Clarke. Actually she was sure she liked Clarke more than Matthew did, which was a fact she tried hard to hide. She wasn’t very good at it when the blonde was around, but at any other point she could appear indifferent to the idea of being the person that Clarke was actually with. She fought those feelings as hard as possible, but she couldn’t help it when she was around her.</p><p>OR the modern AU where Lexa Woods is madly in love with her brother's girlfriend and has absolutely no idea what to do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think She Likes Girls

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually got this idea from one of those WWYD posts on twitter where it said "She's your brother's girlfriend but has to sleep in your room when she stays over. One night she starts kissing your neck and says that she wants you." Or something close to that. Anyways it was with Octavia and I was like... what if??? 
> 
> So that's how this was born and I've been literally writing it off and on for like three weeks, so it's finally done and I'm going to post it. 
> 
> I really hope you guys like it. :)

Clarke had been dating Lexa’s brother for two months. Exactly two and Lexa was sure that she’s spent more time with her then her brother has. To be fair, Lexa had most of her general ED classes with Clarke, and they had similar majors, making their classes rather close together. If it wasn’t for her brother, she would have met the blonde eventually, living so close together and having so many classes together; Lexa figured they were fated to be friends.

Apparently Clarke and Lexa’s brother Matthew had been talking for a while before they took anything to the next level. Apparently Clarke was old fashioned and she liked to take things slow. Lexa, having spent so much time with Clarke now, realizes that maybe Clarke just doesn’t like her brother that much, or guys in general. She’s seen the girl on the dance floor, heard her comments when a pretty girl would appear on the television. Clarke came off as reserved, but she was actually rather forward when it came to that kind of thing. It surprised Lexa, in a way she didn’t care to admit.

Lexa liked Clarke. Actually she was sure she liked Clarke more than Matthew did, which was a fact she tried hard to hide. She wasn’t very good at it when the blonde was around, but at any other point she could appear indifferent to the idea of being the person that Clarke was actually with. She fought those feelings as hard as possible, but she couldn’t help it when she was around her.

Clarke was devious and beautiful. She’d touch the skin on Lexa’s waist to get her attention rather than tapping her on the shoulder. She’d kiss Lexa’s neck as a goodbye rather than her cheek. She’d press her lips to Lexa’s ear to whisper something flirtatious to her rather than tease her out loud with a joke, and she always let her voice drop into that seductive sweet tone Lexa had begun to hear too much of rather than keeping it humorous.

Clarke had hips that made Lexa stare, and a chest that looked even better. She had eyes like the sky and a smirk like the stars and Lexa was falling in love with her. She knew it was bad, she knew she shouldn’t, couldn’t, but she still was. Because even though it shouldn’t be, falling in love with Clarke is the easiest thing she’s ever done.

Clarke never touched Matthew the way she touched Lexa. Clarke never looked at Matthew the way she looked at Lexa. Clarke never whispered flirty things into his ear, never held his hand when she was scared of the movie, never lingered to long for a hug, never stayed up to late talking to him on the phone, never said that she loved the way his eyes looked in the morning when he was just waking up, never went to him when she cried, never told him her hopes and her dreams, never looked at him when she needed someone to look to.

But she did all of this with Lexa. That’s when Lexa decided it wasn’t her imagination anymore. When Clarke was spending more time in her apartment then she was with her brother, when Clarke skipped going to the cabin for the weekend with her “boyfriend” to stay in with Lexa and binge watch Grey Anatomy until they hated it, when Clarke laid her head in her lap and stared at her until Lexa couldn’t ignore it anymore and looked down to meet her gaze, when Clarke leaned forward and kissed her for the first time and told her how beautiful she was.

Lexa decided it wasn’t her imagination anymore and she pulled away. She avoided Clarke for a whole week, didn’t answer her messages, was always out when Clarke would come over, would stare at the door when she knocked, would run in the other direction when Clarke spotted her. She avoided her successfully for a week until the morning Matthew told her that Clarke would be joining them for thanksgiving at their home and Lexa knew she couldn’t ignore her anymore. So when Clarke knocked on the door again and shouted, “This is it Lexa. I don’t know what’s going on with you; I don’t want to stop trying. But this is the last time. I can’t do this anymore.” Lexa flung the door to her apartment open to a red face, angry Clarke whose eyes filled with tears once they connected with hers.

Lexa broke and instead of explaining herself she just pulled Clarke into her arms and whispered, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry Clarke, don’t cry. I’m so sorry,” over and over until the girl finally stopped shaking in her arms. That was when Lexa decided she never wanted to be the reason that Clarke cried ever again.

They stayed together that night. They watched too many episodes of The Office in Lexa’s bed and they eventually fell asleep with their limbs tangled together. It was the easiest sleep that Lexa’s ever had, and when she woke up, she pretended to sleep even longer just so Clarke would continue holding her. When they both finally acknowledged each other’s consciousness they still didn’t move, just stayed in bed, and Lexa even hummed when Clarke’s fingers tangled through her hair and whispered “good morning, beautiful” and peppered her neck with sweet kisses that made her shiver.

They didn’t talk about it again for the rest of that week. But their touches got to intimate. They never slept alone at night, and if Clarke went out with Matthew, she always returned to Lexa before the sun came up. And it wasn’t even that they had something secret going on, because the most they had been intimate would be that kiss on the couch, and Clarke hadn’t attempted it again. Matthew even knew that Clarke practically lived in Lexa’s apartment; it never even seemed to bother him.

But in its way, it was a relationship all its own. Lexa expected Clarke to waltz her way into the apartment after hours once she had given her the spare key and climb into bed with her. She expected to wake up to Clarke’s kisses on her neck, and raspy voice in her ear calling her “beautiful” and telling her what a lovely morning it is. She expected Clarke to hold her hand when they went somewhere together, she expected Clarke to hug her and kiss her neck before they went their separate ways. She had grown used to these things, fallen into a system that brought her happiness, whether it wasn’t exactly what she wanted or not.

She told herself the only thing she had to feel guilty about was her growing feelings for Clarke, which she kept to herself. She told herself that their relationship was just that of two really, really close friends. She pretended that her heart didn’t skip a beat when Clarke would sometimes mutter the words “I love you” in the dark, at a completely random time, for no real reason at all. She pretended Clarke meant it in a way a best friend loves their best friend. She pretended she wasn’t completely head over heels in love with her brother’s girlfriend. If she kept pretending maybe one day it would be true.

 

Lexa left a whole day before Clarke and Matthew and that same day was when Clarke kissed her again. Clarke skipped her morning classes to help Lexa pack. She watched her pack mostly, and Lexa liked having her there so much to talk to her that she didn’t really complain about having no help. She didn’t ask for it in the first place. She didn’t even want to leave early. The thought of sleeping without Clarke next to her for the night actually turned her stomach unpleasantly. She pretended it didn’t.

“Hey, can you call me tonight?” Clarke’s fingers slipped under Lexa’s shirt to touch the skin around her waist to get her attention before stepping into her vehicle, touching her as Clarke always did, and Lexa responded as she always did.

A slight shiver running down her spine, burning where Clarke’s fingers remained, heart picking up speed rapidly no matter how much she silently cursed it not to, “of course,” she muttered out quietly, voice soft and delicate. “I know you hate you’re dorm, you can stay here if you want for the night?” Lexa doesn’t know why she offers; why the thought comforts her that Clarke would stay in her bed even when she’s not there. Lexa pretends it doesn’t mean anything.

“I was going to anyway.” Clarke raises one eyebrow suggestively, eyes shining as a smile shoots across Lexa’s lips. And then it happens. For a long second Clarke just stares at her, stares at her lips as they turn up lightly, and then she leans in and she’s kissing her and Lexa didn’t see it coming.

She had been too busy thinking about Clarke in her bed, falling asleep with the pillows on her side so it felt like Lexa was right next to her. She hadn’t been paying attention to the way Clarke was suddenly looking at her, and when she leaned in and captured Lexa plush lips between her own, Lexa felt every nerve ending melt and spark at the same time. And she kissed back because she was helpless to the feelings that Clarke caused her. She hated feelings; she hated the way her heart took over all her thoughts. She hated how helpless she was to fight them, especially when the blonde kissed her.

Kissing Clarke was like coming home after a long day and finally being able to relax and feel safe. Kissing Clarke was everything and anything all at the same time. Lexa’s head was so clouded by her heart that she hadn’t realized how aggressive she had kissed Clarke back, hadn’t heard the groans of pleasure the blonde released when Lexa bit her bottom lip, hadn’t thought about the fact that they were in a very public parking lot with plenty of people around to see the way Lexa pushed her tongue into the blonde’s warm mouth, shoved the girl’s body against her car.

That was when Lexa had something to feel guilty about. Their first kiss had been gentle and soft and fast. It was easy to ignore, no matter how much Lexa had wanted to kiss Clarke over and over and over until she couldn’t breathe anymore. She hadn’t let it get there, hadn’t let her feelings get completely in the way of her judgment. But today, today she lost that small fight to her heart and when she parted lips with the blonde, eyes dilated and hungry, she knew she couldn’t let it happen again.

_This is Matt’s girlfriend. What are you doing?_

“Lexa,” Clarke whispered voice low and raspy as she examined the girl’s face that was staring at her. Lexa figured the look in Clarke’s eyes was pretty similar to her own, and it’s what coaxed her back in for another kiss, but she let it be slow this time. She didn’t want to have it heated, she wasn’t ever going to kiss the girl again and she wanted to remember it a particular way.

When she pulled back again and pushed her nose against the other girl’s she whispered as quietly as she could against the girl’s lips. “This will never happen again.” And then Lexa released herself from the grip that had still been on the skin on her waist and she took a good two steps away from the blonde against her car.

She ignored the look of disappointment on the blonde’s face, figuring she probably had the very same look on her face and opened the driver side door to her car. This time Clarke grabbed Lexa’s wrist, something she’s only done twice to get her attention. “Don’t leave like that,” Clarke whispers softly, breath catching in her throat.

The blush on her cheeks makes Lexa smile and she reaches up with her fingers and brushes them along the blonde’s cheek bone, reveling in the way Clarke leaned into her touch. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She mumbles lightly, tugging Clarke in for a tight hug. She almost thought it was ridiculous that it was this hard to leave her for just one day, but she knew it had more to do with the fact that one day Clarke wouldn’t be waking up next to her at all. Eventually she’d either marry Matthew or she wouldn’t, and disappear from Lexa’s life in the domestically intimate way they had been sharing it. Lexa dreaded it.

Clarke kissed her neck lightly at least three times before Lexa pulled away. She finally sat down in her car and started it, rolling down her window as the blonde waited by the door, as if they hadn’t said enough, done enough to say goodbye in the last ten minutes. “I love you Lexa.” And there it was again. Voice hoarse with vulnerability, no real reason to say the three little words to her in this moment, she just said it to say it. She said it like a fact, an undeniable fact that made Lexa stare at her with watery eyes.

She grinned at Clarke. “It’s only a day; you sound like I’m going to die.” Lexa teased, pushing the blonde slightly so she can keep pretending Clarke doesn’t mean it like that, and the only thing she has to feel guilty for is her own feelings that she continues to push down for her dorky ass oblivious brother who can’t even tell his girlfriend is completely into girls.

Clarke laughs, lightly, barely, but still laughs. “Still, I love you.” Clarke’s fingers reach out and touch Lexa’s cheek, and she feels like that touch is everywhere, gripping her heart and pulling it into her throat. Clarke’s never said it twice in a row, just like that, and Lexa needed to leave before she couldn’t pretend anymore that Clarke didn’t mean it like that.

_She doesn’t, you’re her best friend, just her friend._

Maybe if she keeps saying it to herself she’ll finally believe it at some point. The worst part wasn’t even that she knew Clarke meant it in a way that Lexa denied. The worst part was that Lexa felt the same way, and that was terribly wrong considering this girl that she loves so dearly is her brother’s. Matthew was better for her anyway, strong and sweet, little to no problems and was good at everything. Though Lexa was pretty sure they wouldn’t last because it was growing increasingly obvious to her that Clarke likes girls far more than she likes guys.

Lexa didn’t say it back, as she often didn’t, because that would make things all too real, and instead gave Clarke a warm watery smile that said it for her. Clarke pulled back enough to let the brunette drive off, and Lexa ignored the fact that her vision had blurred with the tears of Clarke’s two “I love you’s”.

 

Clarke and Matthew arrived exactly the day after Lexa did. Lexa told herself to hide her emotions, to not let them show because her mother could read through her and the last thing she needed was a lecture about how wrong it is for her to be in love with her brother’s girlfriend. She knew it was wrong, but it wasn’t exactly something she could choose.

Lexa would fall in love with Clarke over and over again even if it was a choice.

She had taken a seat on the couch when the front door to the house swung open. When Clarke stepped in, Lexa could swear the place instantly felt lighter. Despite how much she wanted to look up at the usually smiling blonde, she kept her eyes glued to the television screen in front of her. She had her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms around them, and her chin resting on her knee in an attempt to look casual and comfy and indifferent to her arrival. However, Lexa couldn’t resist any more when that pretty beautiful blonde plopped herself right next to Lexa, smiling at her as if a whole day apart was far too long. If Lexa was honest, it was too long, way too long.

And when Lexa shyly smiled back, Clarke launched herself at her, making Lexa fall over against the sofa and squeak slightly as Clarke laid herself on top of the brunette.

“I missed you.” She whispered into her neck and all Lexa could do was hope that Clarke didn’t hear how fast her heart started beating. Of course the blonde was aware by now that Lexa obviously had feelings for her, but Lexa promised herself that for this week and even after it that she wouldn’t dare show any more signs of it.

 _Matt’s girlfriend._ She’d repeat over and over in her head until maybe her stupid heart would finally listen to her and let her head do the talking.

She wrapped her arms around Clarke and relaxed into the new position. “Me too,” Lexa admitted quietly, not wanting anyone but Clarke to hear her. Clarke leaned up from her place where she had been snuggling into the brunette and smiled down at her. She leaned down and placed a quick kiss to Lexa’s lips, catching her off guard, and smiled happily as she bounced off the couch to help Matthew with their bags.

Lexa only watched after her, shuffling fingers through brown locks as she sat up and tried to compose herself before someone noticed how red her cheeks were. She was already not doing very well with keeping those feelings on lockdown, her mom was definitely going to notice if she kept this up. But Lexa couldn’t help it, Clarke was… Clarke. Perfect, beautiful Clarke.

“You wanna help Lex, or just stare off into space like a lost puppy?” Matt’s voice boomed into the room, interrupting Lexa’s thoughts. This sprung her up into action and she shot up from the couch, crossing the room toward her older brother whose green eyes matched her own.

“Shut up Matt,” Lexa reached out as Clarke came through with a few of her bags and took them from her. “Making your girlfriend carry her own bags, I’m disappointed in you.” She teased him lightly.

Matt rolled his eyes. “If you’d stop setting such high standard for me that’d be great.” Matt dropped his bags beside the couch as Lexa moved toward the end of the stairs, Clarke followed behind her, silent with a happy smile on her lips. Her normal Clarke smile. “Remember Marian, I wanted to die when she said I should be more like you.” Matt made a face, scrunching up his nose at the memory and Lexa only laughed at him, making her way slowly up the stairs.

She tossed her head back slightly. “Maybe you’ll learn someday,” She shouted back, chuckling as her brother groaned and most likely buried himself into the couch cushions.

Clarke followed her silently down the hall, which was unusual for Clarke. Usually she talked Lexa’s ear off, things about her day, and theories about space, and all the things she wanted to paint but hadn’t gotten to doing so yet. Lexa didn’t mind, she liked listening to Clarke talk, but something felt off about this silence.

Lexa shoved the door to her room open and dropped Clarke’s bags on the end of her bed. “My mom won’t let you sleep with Matt, so you can take my room.” Lexa offers immediately. Of course, she had the idea that she’d sleep in here as well, but with her trying to distance herself somewhat from these feelings, she decided she’d take the couch instead.

“So, do all of your brother’s girlfriends end up wanting you instead?” The question is curious, light, but laced with something else, something that makes Lexa stiffen and her heart race. Her body twists so fast to face Clarke that she is momentarily dizzy and grabs the bar at the end of her bed to steady herself.

“What? No…” Lexa stutters, shuffling fingers through her hair as she often did when she was nervous. Clarke only watched, amusement entering her gaze and lighting up her eyes. “I, I don’t… I’m not…” Lexa stopped talking once she saw the way Clarke was smirking at her.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the devious blonde. “I’m serious by the way.” Clarke crosses the room to stand in front of Lexa. The brunette gulps but doesn’t stray her eyes away from the beautiful sky blue eyes in front of her. “Every single one falls in love with you, don’t they?” Clarke’s fingers have moved to shuffle through the strands of Lexa’s curls, breaking eye contact to watch the way the waves move through her fingers. The sight makes Lexa stop breathing a moment, distracted by the way Clarke seems to be mesmerized by her.

She was making it really difficult to pretend.

“Mom is done with dinner and wants to meet Clarke.” Matt shouts, stomping his way up the stairs. Clarke only pulls her fingers away from Lexa’s hair when he enters the room. “I promise she’s not as intimidating as she comes off.” Matt smiles charmingly at his girlfriend, who greets him back with a smile that doesn’t touch her eyes. At least, Lexa doesn’t see the same smile directed at Matt that she usually gets directed towards her. When Clarke smiles at Lexa her eyes always shine with the grin, it’s always so beautiful. Lexa pretends to not notice that Matt never receives that grin.

Lexa helps her mom set the table while Matt shows Clarke the rest of the house and something about her mother’s stiff actions is off. She hopes it isn’t Clarke’s being here that put her in such a mood, she knew her mother had a tendency to be a little bit protective of Matthew, hell, Lexa was sure all three of Matt’s last girlfriends ran away because of her. But Lexa somehow knew this wouldn’t work on Clarke, whether it had to do with her actually liking girls or not, Clarke just wasn’t easily put off.

Hell, Lexa was intimidating all year round even when she wasn’t trying to be, and where most run away, Clarke squeezed her ass right into her heart. Clarke would no doubt do the same to her mother, Lexa was even grinning as she thought about how fast her mother would melt to the sunshine like blonde.

“Matt’s told me you approve,” Ms. Woods motioned her daughter toward the kitchen to help her dish out the rest of the food. Lexa only nodded in agreement at the statement and followed her mother into the kitchen. “I know that should set me at ease a bit, since you’re as picky as me. But Matthew has a way of picking them.” Ms. Woods wrinkles her nose at the thought of all of Matt’s other girlfriends and Lexa can’t help the snort that she releases.

“You’re just way to picky. But trust me mom, you’ll love Clarke. She’s…” Lexa trailed off as her mother looked at her before dishing the rest of the potatoes into a fancy looking bowl. “She’s different.” Lexa finishes, taking the bowl from her mother after she had finished.

“Different how, Lexa?” Ms. Woods raised a thin eyebrow at her daughter, expecting an answer. Lexa’s cheek automatically started heating up without her permission. Her mother was going to see right through her if she explained all the ways that Clarke was different from the other girls Matt had brought home.

She couldn’t answer this completely honestly. “Just different, you’ll see. She doesn’t scare easily.” Lexa assures, and turns her back on her mother hoping she won’t mention the pink lining her cheekbones. Her mother doesn’t follow her back into the dining room and she’s grateful for it, releasing a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

When Lexa sets the bowl down in the middle of the table, she jumps nearly ten feet in the air when a pair of slender arms wrap around her waist. The blonde was shorter than Lexa by a few inches, but it didn’t stop her from resting her chin on the brunettes shoulder and nuzzling her nose into her neck. “Hello beautiful,” she hummed lightly into her skin, grazing her lips there just enough to make Lexa shudder.

“Clarke,” Lexa’s voice is tight. Too much emotion is lacing her tone for her liking. Clarke only smiles against her skin, Lexa can feel the way her lips curve up against her neck. It brings about another shudder she isn’t capable of stopping.

“I love it when you say my name like that,” She kisses her way up Lexa’s neck before pressing her lips fully against Lexa’s right ear. Her voice drops to that low register that drives Lexa absolutely crazy. “It makes me wet.” Lexa groaned as quietly as possible, biting her lip to stifle the noise before shoving Clarke away from her, no matter how her body protested the action. The thought of Clarke wet, isn’t something she needed on her mind right now, while she fought her feelings, while her brother was somewhere in the house, while her mother was just in the other room.

Clarke only laughed when Lexa spun around to say something to her, no doubt the expression on the brunette’s face giving away all of her thoughts and feelings about how she truly feels about what Clarke just said to her. But she didn’t manage to get anything out before her mother walked into the room with a few pans.

“Lexa, would you go get the rest for me. I’d like to talk to Clarke for a moment.” Ms. Woods smiled at her daughter who only narrowed her eyes at the older woman before nodding. She let her gaze examine Clarke up and down before disappearing, rolling her eyes at the way Clarke’s smirk grew as she acknowledged Lexa’s admiring.

By the time Lexa had returned and finished setting the table, Clarke had Lexa’s mother laughing so hard she had started to cry. She was utterly charmed by the time dinner started, and Ms. Woods was left smiling through most of the meal. Lexa wasn’t surprised, not the least bit. Clarke had a way of elevating herself, she’s special.

Most of the dinner was light hearted and easy, and Clarke only helped that feeling even more. Ms. Woods teased her about her son, and even paid some attention to Lexa which hadn’t been expected, since Ms. Woods was mostly all about her son. Lexa never minded much being second best to her brother. It helped her thrive to be the best at everything else, which she mostly was.

“You realize that Clarke can’t sleep in your room,” Ms. Woods had teased, raising an eyebrow at her son who easily grinned in response before shoving some mashed potatoes into his mouth. There was a glint in every eye around the table, but Lexa mostly only watched Clarke’s. She loved the way her blues looked when she smiled like that. She could light up the whole world with just those eyes. That was probably why Lexa was always reminded of the sky when she looked at them; they usually lit up her whole day.

Lexa flicked her gaze back to her food when Clarke had finally acknowledged that she knew Lexa was staring, and even grinned in almost a victory smirk at the creeping blush along the brunette’s cheek. “I know that, she’ll sleep with Lexa. They’re practically attached at the hip anyway.” Lexa choked on the water she had started sipping and coughed enough to gain everyone’s attention at the table. Her mother now suspicious raised her eyebrow further as she examined how stiff her daughter had become.

“You okay?” Clarke asked over the quiet, eyes gentle and soft. Lexa only smiled at her and nodded before averting her gaze, though she had wished she could just stare at Clarke all night. She had nearly been doing it anyway, and if no one noticed by now, they wouldn’t notice if she continued… _No Lexa, Matt’s girlfriend you stupid._ “You have wonderful children.” Clarke finally adds to her brother’s earlier statement, and her grin is too wide when she glances to Lexa again. She can feel her mother burning holes through the side of her head with her gaze.

“That I do Clarke, do you have any siblings?” And Lexa released a breath, pleased that her mother wasn’t going to interrogate the way that Lexa knew she so desperately wanted too. Her mother was all too aware of when Lexa had a crush on someone, because it didn’t happen often, and she feared, as she told her daughter many time beforehand, that she may end up alone if she never breaks out of her shell a little. So her mother had caught on to all signs when Lexa crushed on someone, and now she noticed it without even trying. Lexa would have to try harder to bury these silly feelings if her mother was going to pay so much attention to her.

“No, I’m an only child.” Clarke shrugs, cutting up some of her meat so she can eat it easier. Ms. Woods only examines Clarke carefully, but not in a sizing her up kind of way. Clarke’s shoulders are slumped easily, showing how comfortable she is, and Lexa is sure Clarke’s light demeanor is what keeps bringing the smile to her mother’s lips. Clarke was good at making anyone smile; she didn’t have to do very much to accomplish it.

“I just want to ask, Clarke, why aren’t you with your family for thanksgiving? I mean, you’re very welcome here of course, I was just wondering.” Ms. Woods asked gently, beginning to cut up her meat as well. Clarke meets Lexa’s green gaze with a blue eyed smile that Lexa admires subtly from her place across from the blonde. She returns her grin, as if helping to encourage her to talk about her family only a little bit, that it’s alright. Clarke’s home life wasn’t the best, it wasn’t the worst either, it was just… mostly nonexistent. Lexa had learned this about a month into their friendship, when Clarke had got into an argument with her mother over the phone and needed someone to rant to. She didn’t go to Matt, she never went to Matt. She came to Lexa, as she always did. Lexa was always more than willing to offer her, her ear, even if she shouldn’t be.

“My mom has to work. She’s a doctor, so she told me to just make other plans.” Clarke brings her gaze to Lexa once more, uncaring of the way that Ms. Woods raises both her eyebrows in acknowledgment of the gesture. Clarke finds courage in Lexa’s gentle smile, and a lazy grin crosses her own features again before she breaks the gaze to look down at her plate of food. Lexa lets her eyes rest on Clarke a moment, admiring what’s in front of her before doing the same and staring at her food.

“Oh well, our family is small but I promise we celebrate well.” Ms. Woods allows her smile to touch her eyes and the air in the room is calm and relaxed. Lexa tries to reframe from looking at Clarke but she quickly finds that it becomes particularly harder the longer dinner drags on. So eventually she gives in, and isn’t so subtle about the way she crosses her ankle with Clarke’s under the table and reaches over to steal one of Clarke’s bread rolls just so she can touch her hand. And Clarke, she only grins in response.

“I’m thankful to be here, really. It was nice of you to invite me.” Clarke’s smile is genuine and vulnerable, and when she looks to Lexa again to find her already smiling back at her, Lexa is positive that her smile grows because of her. She decides then, she wants to always make Clarke smile like that.

When dinner finally ends and Clarke and Ms. Woods clean up the dishes together, chatting all the way about Clarke’s ambitions and goals for her future and how she met Matt through an embarrassing prank call and how Lexa has become her best friend, Matt and Lexa slump lazily into their childhood couch. They both stare at the screen; though the volume is too quiet for them to really make out what’s being said on the show playing. Neither one of them bothers to turn it up, enjoying instead, the sound of Clarke’s laughter and the clanking of dishes that’s shifting through the house.

“Can I share something with you Lex?” Matt mutters, head leaning back on the cushion of the couch. Lexa meets the side of his face, a grin dancing along her lips that fades once she sees how serious his expression is.

“You know you can tell me anything Matt,” Lexa assures, shifting on the couch so she is facing him. He sits up a little straighter, taking in a huge breath and releasing it slowly before he meets Lexa’s eyes.

“I think she likes girls,” He says seriously, and it takes Lexa’s brain a moment to catch up.

“Who Clarke?” Lexa asks gently, hoping her voice comes out as neutral and calm as she wants it too. She figures it waivers a bit, but not enough to gain her normally allusive brother’s attention. She thanks god just this once for his obliviousness.

“Yeah, I mean,” He bites his lower lip. “She’s all over you.” Matt rubs the back of his neck. Lexa tries but fails to keep the blush from her cheeks. “She doesn’t really like to touch me, and at first I thought it was just because she wanted to take things slow. But…” He shakes his head. “And then I thought maybe it’s just me, but… I talked to a few of her ex-boyfriend’s recently, don’t ask me how, and apparently Clarke’s the same way with them all.” Matt shrugged slightly, looking down at his hands. “Which kind of sucks cause I really like her.”

Lexa lets out a soft sigh and scoots along the couch to be closer to her brother. “Why don’t you ask her? Talk to her about it and see what she says.” Lexa encourages gently, placing her hand on his shoulder as he shakes his head.

“She’d never come out to the guy she’s supposedly dating.” He bites his lip, that expression crossing his features he normally gets when he has an idea. This makes Lexa back away from him, shaking her head already before he’s said anything. “Come on Lex!” He protests as Lexa continues shaking her head.

“I’m not doing that for you. It’s not even my place,”

“Lexa you of all people know how hard it can be to come out. Maybe if you talk to her, and see where she’s at, see if it’s just me or if it’s really because she likes girls you can help her.” He pleads his voice desperate. Lexa continues shaking her head, rolling her eyes as Matt pops out his bottom lip. “Please, besides, I think she has a crush on you.” He tone lightens, making Lexa blush, though she hadn’t really gotten rid of the first one, and rolls her eyes.

“She does not,” She denies, averting her gaze to the television screen now.

Matthew’s smirk only widens. “She talks about you literally twenty four seven. She hasn’t even slept with me yet; you guys share a bed together constantly. I have Instagram, you know.” He bumps his shoulder with his sisters’ who glares at the television in front of her.

“I haven’t slept with her like that!” Lexa protests as Matthew chuckles.

“But you so want too.” He teases further. “Tell you what, you do this for me, and I give you full permission to take what I can’t have.” He laughs when Lexa punches his shoulder, even though it was hard and he winces, he can’t find it in himself to complain.

“Don’t talk about her like she’s your sloppy seconds you asshole,” She snaps lightly. Shoulders slumping into the cushion as she processes what her brother has said to her.

“You know I’m just joking around. I mean, I do think she has a crush on you. If she is gay, I encourage you to pursue it. She’s the only girl that’s ever made you as happy as you are when you’re around her.” Lexa grows stiff again, unaware that her brother ever really pays attention to that kind of thing. Silently she’s cursing herself for ever being so obvious to even get her oblivious brother’s attention. “You don’t let people in easy Lexa, but somehow Clarke’s not just important to me anymore. Just find out for me, please. There isn’t a part of you that’s noticed?” He questions lightly, raising an eyebrow at her.

Lexa only rolls her eyes again. “Of course I’ve noticed. I thought you were joking when you said that she was the girl you were dating when I first met her cause she didn’t stop drooling over the waitress the whole night.” Lexa crosses her arms along her chest. _I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my brother._

“Please, it was you she was drooling over all night. I was a little jealous.” Matthew admitted his eyes on the television now. “I told her that you were gay before we got there because I didn’t want you to go through the awkward, “oh, I don’t do boys,” thing that you always have to do. She was really, really intrigued by that.” Matthew rolls his eyes at this.

Lexa chuckles at him. “I’m sorry Matt, but I still think this a conversation you should have with Clarke. I can’t do this for you.” Lexa shakes her head and moves to stand up, but Matt grabs her wrist and pulls her back down.

“Just this once Lexa, please? I need to know if I’m wasting my time. If I should just tell her we should be friend instead. I like the girl I really do, but if it’s hopeless going in that direction, I’d like to know so we both can move on and be happy.” Lexa eventually loses the battle, and agrees to Matt’s pleading green eyes that of course she’ll talk to Clarke and see what she says. Only then does Matt hop up from the couch and join the other two in the kitchen, leaving Lexa to ponder how she’d even bring up that kind of conversation without it being… strange?

 _God Clarke sure wasn’t good at subtle was she?_ Lexa shakes her head and spends the rest of her night trying to deter her mother’s growing suspicion of Lexa’s crush on the beautiful blonde. They watch a movie and of course it’s Lexa’s hand that Clarke grabs when the movie makes her jump, and now she’s got two pairs of eyes watching Clarke’s interactions with her and it makes her self-conscious. She pulls away from Clarke, where she normally wouldn’t.

Clarke however, doesn’t give a shit if people watch her. Lexa can pull away, but Clarke jumps right after her. Something about the movie on the television scaring her into Lexa’s side, curling up beside her so she can bury her face in the crook of her neck at the scary parts. Lexa finds it so endearing that she doesn’t fight it much even as her mother raises an eyebrow at her questioningly. Lexa just shrugs it off and wraps an arm around Clarke to comfort her. She smiles when Clarke hums quietly in her ear.

“Is it over yet?” She whispers so only Lexa can hear. It makes her heart swell, and the grip she has on the blonde tightens.

“Yes, you can look now.” Lexa whispers quietly, keeping her eyes on the screen and hoping her brother would wipe that know-it-all grin from his face before Clarke looks at him.

When the movie finally ends, she’s almost reluctant to get up from her spot. But the curious looks her mother is casting her way encourages her too move, and she announces she’ll be going to bed before anyone else does. She avoids both her brother and her mother’s gazes as she saunters her way upstairs, aware that Clarke isn’t far behind her. She won’t be able to avoid them all week, but for now avoidance is all she’s got.

Lexa doesn’t actually freak out about sharing a room with Clarke for a week until she’s alone in the room with Clarke. She’s been alone in her apartment with Clarke plenty of times. Spent plenty of nights tangled around each other as they watched a dumb television show. But this… this felt different. Lexa was aware that Clarke must feel this way too because she actually kept her distance from Lexa as she crossed the threshold. Clarke was quick to touch her and hug her and kiss her neck when they were alone, she did it immediately whenever Lexa closed the door to her apartment, but here Clarke kept herself a good ten feet away from Lexa, not even looking at her when Lexa tries to get her too.

Though it’s probably good Clarke is trying to keep her distance, Lexa can admit that it’s driving her crazy. She releases a huff and Clarke grins at her, raising one eyebrow to her hairline playfully. “What’s wrong beautiful?” Clarke’s grin only grows as Lexa huffs and turns red at the term. Though Lexa realizes it’s for the best that she keep her feelings under wraps even when alone with Clarke, she can’t help but feel restless. She hasn’t normally gone this long without plenty of encouraging touches from Clarke, at least plenty of subtle ones. She was completely addicted to the curve of the blonde’s body by now, that even a day full of few touches felt nearly impossible to her.

“Nothing,” Lexa manages a grunt. She ignores the amused gaze that Clarke has cast on her and grabs a large shirt from her suitcase that’s open in a corner on the left side of the room. She gets ready to leave the room to change, but Clarke grabs her waist before she can and spins her around to look at the blonde and Lexa suddenly can’t breathe. The contact is on skin as it normally is, Clarke caressing the silky flesh under Lexa’s shirt and it sets every nerve on edge. This touch feels different… its felt this way once or twice before, when one of them drinks too much, or they spend all day apart, but Lexa isn’t prepared for it tonight.

“You don’t have to leave the room to change, Lexa.” Clarke’s voice is low, that way it gets when she normally presses her lips to Lexa’s ear. It causes Lexa to shiver and her gaze to darken; her grip tightens on the shirt in her hands. Clarke’s fingers glide up her side, dragging the shirt with her, and Lexa swears her skin is on fire from the smallest touch. Lexa shudders; she manages to breathe in and out but is well aware how hard it is.

She steps away from Clarke, watching the devious grin greet pretty pink lips. Lexa let herself stare at them for far too long. She has no idea what comes over her, but she drops the shirt she was holding onto her bed before she lifts the one she’s wearing swiftly over her head and drops it onto the floor. She even manages a smirk as Clarke stares; examining the body she was now presented with.

Lexa snapped her bra off and blushed as Clarke’s eyes settled on her exposed chest. She wasn’t even sure what she was playing at, but she was well aware that no straight girl would ever stare at her this way. She feels the heat blooming between her legs, it encourages her movements and she quickly grabs the shirt she dropped on the bed and pulls it over her head. She slides her jeans off and then kicked her clothes across the room to the left side and sauntered her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Clarke’s sky blue eyes were almost black as they followed Lexa’s movements. Lexa could feel her follow her, saw her in the mirror as she grabbed her toothbrush. Something about what Lexa had done gave Clarke confidence. Suddenly her arms were wrapping around her.  “That wasn’t very nice.” Clarke husks, lips pressed to her ear. Her fingers trial under Lexa’s shirt again and Lexa lets out a sigh when Clarke nips at her ear.

“You said I didn’t have to leave the room to change.” Lexa manages to tease, though her voice sounds raspy and lost even to her. Clarke smiles into the skin of her neck. Her touch slides along her belly, before sliding from hip to hip in a way that makes Lexa tip her head back slightly. Clarke trails kisses across her neck while Lexa tries to regain some control of herself.

Clarke’s palms squeezed around Lexa’s backside and her ear was suddenly covered by Clarke’s lips once again. “Hurry up, I want to cuddle and watch TV before you fall asleep.” Clarke again peppers kisses along her neck before completely removing her warmth from Lexa. She releases a groan of displeasure at the loss of contact that makes Clarke chuckle as she bounces back into Lexa’s room, switching on the television and pulling off her own clothes to change into something more comfortable.

Lexa composes herself, staring at her blushing cheeks in the mirror and the dilated pupils that were now present as Clarke shuffled through her mind. That girl was definitely her weakness, and she wondered so much why she let her be. Not that she really had a choice she supposed. Lexa didn’t usually expose herself this easily to someone, but somehow Clarke had wiggled her way inside of Lexa’s heart. Her strength and humanity was so powerful in her that it amazed Lexa every single day.

This was certainly going to be a long night with the way her body was acting. She’d have to keep the cuddling at least to a minimum, maybe put on some pants since the lower part of her was already aching with things she can’t have. Lexa finished and sauntered her way around the bed to the left side where she normally slept in her apartment. Clarke was already occupying the right, flipping through channels on the little TV across from them.

Lexa focused her eyes on the bed and the shuffling of sheets as she lifted them, rather than on Clarke’s bare smooth legs, crossed at the ankles above the blanket. She focused on the figures on the television screen that kept changing to quickly for her to know what they were, instead of the heat of Clarke’s body and the sound of her breathing and the fact that all she was wearing was a tang top that clung to every inch of her chest.

Clarke eventually settled on something that Lexa had never seen, and she made sure to focus entirely too much attention on it while Clarke shifted beside her, lifting blankets and slipping under them. She scooted to close to Lexa, a tremble to her body that Lexa didn’t want to acknowledge as she brushed her fingers along Lexa’s stomach, under her long shirt. She tangled one naked leg over Lexa’s and hummed at the feel of skin on skin.

Lexa shivered as Clarke brushed her nose along her throat. Her breath caught when she felt Clarke’s chest shove into her side. Her arms maneuvered around Clarke automatically, pulling the smaller girl completely against her. She kept her eyes on the screen, but all she really could see was Clarke.

“Clarke, can I ask you something?” Lexa figured it was now or never. Perhaps she should ask when they have distance, and Lexa was less aroused, but she couldn’t help that she wanted the answer as much as her brother seemed too. She wanted to know even if it seemed rather obvious.

“Of course you can baby,” Clarke brushes her nose along Lexa’s throat, and the hand stroking her stomach makes Lexa tremble that it takes her moment to recovered and remember where she was going with this conversation. She stares at the pixels on the television screen and thinks of unpleasant things to try and calm herself down.

“Do you like girls Clarke?” Lexa nearly gasped at herself. She just went for it. She was planning on easing into it, but here she was, just completely going for it. Perhaps there was no other way to really dive into this kind of conversation, and the body against her that stiffened slightly told her this as well.

All that could be heard for a long time with the space between them was Clarke’s heavy breathing and the noises the sitcom across from them was making. Part of Lexa wanted to immediately start apologizing for crossing this boundary, but Clarke was suddenly sucking in a breath as if she was going to answer and Lexa was so desperate to hear what she had to say.

“I don’t know.” She says, but it sounds like that’s not the full truth. It sounds like she’s not being completely honest, but Lexa doesn’t want to push her, so instead she just strokes her back gently and keeps her eyes pinned to the television across from her.

“Do you like my brother?” Clarke has already relaxed against her again, and Lexa feels confident that Clarke will answer honestly. So she doesn’t hold back. She lifts Clarke’s tang top and strokes the skin of her back, silently basking in the shiver that rolls through the blonde at the contact.

“I do, it’s just.” Clarke is sitting up to look at Lexa now and Lexa can’t help but meet her gaze. “I’ve talked to him about,” Clarke lets her eyes wander down the expanse of Lexa’s throat, a blush rushing across her cheeks. It’s cute, and Lexa finds her fingers tracing the girl’s cheekbone so she can follow the blush. “I like him,” She says softly, but the sentence is unfinished. Its easy to tell by the way Clarke’s eyes widen a little as they follow back up Lexa’s neck to her eyes. It makes Lexa heart race.

“You should tell him.” Lexa says quietly. “Tell him that you like him you just don’t like him like that, if that’s what you mean.” Lexa smiles at her softly and Clarke bites her bottom lip when Lexa takes her fingers from the girl’s cheek.

“I’m scared that I won’t get to see you anymore if we break up.” Clarke bites her bottom lip so hard Lexa’s almost certain it draws blood. The confession rocks through her like alcohol, fuzzing her logical thoughts and making her think only about herself. How she’d love to lean over and take that bottom lip between her teeth.

“I promise we’ll remain friends, nothing between us will change.” Lexa encourages though the word “friends” twists her stomach in the most unpleasant of ways.

Clarke doesn’t seemed to please with the statement either and huffs and falls from her position where she had been hovering over Lexa. She buries her nose back into Lexa neck and brushes it up and down as she grumbles. “Friends,” into her skin. Lexa isn’t sure why the action makes her smile, but her hand continues its stroking pattern up the girl’s back and Clarke hums to the touch and everything is fine.

Clarke grumbles against her again and brushes her nose against skin again, brushing her lips there as well and even smirking against her skin to acknowledge the fact that it makes Lexa’s breath hitch in her throat. She strokes patterns from one hip to the next and full on grins when Lexa whimpers under her.

Lexa obviously wasn’t expecting the sudden sound to leave her throat. Clarke has such control over all of her, it’s unsettling but pleasant at the same time. Clarke was obviously encouraged by the sound and she presses impossibly closer to Lexa, both of them trembling just the same way.

Her fingers stroked Lexa’s stomach, moved up and down in a pattern that made Lexa continue to tremble against her, unable to control her reaction. The nose pressed to her skin soon became lips, and those lips pushed against the delicate skin, nipping and kissing until Lexa released a small breath and her trembles grew worse with a tightening grip on Clarke’s back. Clarke moved her lips to the shell of Lexa’s ear, brushing her lips against it in the way she knows Lexa likes, and dropped her tone low and sultry. “I want you.” She whispers, stroking the soft skin on Lexa’s stomach and nipping at her earlobe as the brunette squeaked below her.

She felt every action shooting to her center and tried desperate to hold back the noises rising in her throat. “Clarke,” She breathed out, that same way she had at the dinner table accept more breathless, and Clarke nearly moaned to the sound. She hadn’t lied when she said she liked the way Lexa said her name like that, and because of this, she went back to nipping at the girl’s neck and throwing one leg over her waist to straddle her. Lexa didn’t protest just tightened her grip. She didn’t know what to do. Her body ached and her mind fogged with Clarke, she had never come on this strong before. She was shocked and entirely to turned on to think clearly.

Clarke moved her kisses to the other side of her neck, nipping delicate skin and sucking lightly on the brunette’s pulse point. She squirmed below Clarke, squeaking again as the nails of Clarke’s hand scratched lightly down her stomach. Lexa hold grew tighter. She liked this, she liked this far too much to let it continue, but her efforts seemed weak when she placed her hands against the girl’s thighs on either side of her and pushed with no strength.

She shivered as Clarke’s tongue swirled around her pulse point before she bite the spot with her teeth and then soothed it again. “Clarke,” She moaned as the girl’s fingers rubbed her hipbone, a small delicate pattern that was driving her insane. “We can’t.” She struggled out, eyes shutting of their own accord as she felt the girl’s lips and tongue wrap around the ball of her collarbone. All of her touches felt way too good. Clarke would barely have to touch her and she’d be coming so soon, she was already ridiculously close to the way there and Clarke hadn’t done very much. It wasn’t even because she hadn’t gotten laid in a while; Clarke just had this effect on her, this scary effect over her body that Lexa really didn’t find very fair.

Clarke huffs against her skin like its Lexa biting and sucking on her skin. “Yes we can,” Clarke bites a pattern down Lexa’s collarbone that made her shudder and hum against her will. Who knew she’d like biting this much? Maybe it was only because it was Clarke, and she seemed to like anything Clarke was doing. Her fingers moved a pattern from one hipbone to the other across her skin, and Lexa squirmed under her again. Clarke’s nips turned back into lips as she moved up, restricted by the shirt that Lexa had on. She grunted at it impatiently, traveling her lips back along the beautiful neck in front of her.

“Clarke, you’re here with my brother.” Lexa struggled, reminding herself of this as much as she was reminding Clarke. Lexa was sure that when her brother asked her to find out if Clarke likes girls; he didn’t mean to do it like this, even if Lexa’s thought about finding out this way plenty of times over. Acting on it was much different than thinking about it, and she was already feeling guilty because of how close Clarke’s fingers were to the area she wants her most. The tips were already under the waistline of her underwear, hovering over a small patch of curls that Lexa kept tidy.

“Do I look like I want your brother?” Clarke managed to husk out sternly. Her blue eyes attached to Lexa’s greens, they were dilated and mostly hungry. The look dried Lexa’s throat, and she wanted to protest, tell her even so this wasn’t right, but her throat just wouldn’t let the words out. Clarke’s cheeks were tinted pink, and when her tongue darted out of her mouth to wet her lips, Lexa felt the strong urge to reach up and capture them.

Clarke’s fingers pushed past the waistband of Lexa’s underwear after a minute, and they ran through Lexa’s wet folds making her shutter and groan all at the same time, shivering and struggling to maintain her composure as the smirk scattered across pink lips. Her legs involuntary fell open. “You’re so wet.” Clarke breathed out huskily, her voice dropping lower then Lexa has ever heard it before. “This doesn’t feel like you want to stop.” Clarke teased lightly, lips pushing along the brunette’s jawline as her fingers slide down, shifting over Lexa’s opening gathering even more wetness before moving up and circling her clit, which had the woman below her bucking her hips and moaning with her head pushed back. “I bet you taste as delicious as you smell.” Lexa hummed to Clarke’s words, only seeming to arouse the girl more as she squirmed below Clarke.

She could feel every touch like it was all over her entire body. She had no control, Clarke had it all, fuck Clarke’s always had it all. “Clarke,” There it was again, only this time lower, sexy, and full of a plea she didn’t mean to give. She was trying so hard to maintain herself, but right now she couldn’t even remember what the word “control” meant with the way that Clarke’s fingers felt, rubbing lazy slow circle around her clit that was throbbing in a way she was sure it never has before. She was already building quicker than she ever has; the pleasure felt unbearable shooting through her, spiking different nerves as she fought the sounds that rose in her throat. She couldn’t recall a time that being with someone in this way had ever felt like this, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing at this point.

Clarke was so smug above her, smirking down at her as she moved her fingers. There isn’t any way Clarke hasn’t done this before. She seems way to confident, way too comfortable with it. Lexa is too wrapped up in torturous pleasure to even question it. “Yes baby,” Clarke leaned forward, brushing her lips just barely against the brunette’s. “Do you want me inside you?” Lexa moaned as Clarke left her clit to swirl the tips of her fingers around the edges of her entrance, earning her another buck and a breathless gasp from Lexa who looked like she had never been fucked a day in her life at this point. “I want to be inside of you.” Clarke whispered lowly. The blonde had positioned her center on the girl’s thigh, and Lexa’s squirming caused her to place friction in the right spot on the blonde that she grinded down and released her own quiet moan, tilting her head slightly as it shot through her. Lexa could feel how wet she was, soaking through her own underwear onto Lexa’s thigh and it only served to worsen Lexa’s own condition, with the tips of fingers swirling around her entrance, building Lexa up to an orgasm that was going to come far too fast than she’s ever had happen for her before.

“I-I’m not the only one whose wet.” Lexa managed out, voice cracking through her dry throat. Clarke still looked smug and confident as she sat up slightly, tips of her fingers swirling back up to the bundle of nerves that made Lexa rock her hips forward, brushing her thigh against the blonde’s clit through her underwear. Clarke tossed her head back, a moan to loud for the small room releasing from her lips as she grinded down, sliding her heat along Lexa’s thigh.

Lexa was sure this is the hottest thing she’s ever seen in her life; Clarke grinding her center on her, pink clingy tang top sticking to her body in a mouthwatering way, nipples hard through the material. Perhaps Lexa wasn’t the only one experiencing this way to fast approaching orgasm, perhaps Clarke was just as wound up as she was, just as ready. Clarke rocked her hips harder against Lexa’s thigh, releasing another loud moan and shock of wetness down her thigh and Lexa muttered out a small restricted “Fuck me” before she could stop herself.

Clarke smiled wickedly down at her, hips moving slowly on the thigh between her legs as she swirled her clit one more time before wasting no more and plunging one finger knuckle deep inside of her. Lexa arched her back immediately, meeting the intrusion with a shocking wave of pleasure washing through her. Desire felt like fire, and she rocked her hips again, thigh rubbing into Clarke just right as the blonde moved another finger inside of her. “As you wish,” Clarke teased breathlessly. It’s the first time her voice cracked since they’ve started, and a part of Lexa that still could think, just barely was glad she wasn’t the only one struggling.

Once Clarke was in her, Lexa couldn’t focus on anything else anymore. Not Clarke’s teasing smiles, or her own guilty conscience. Lexa could only focus on the black dots of pleasure as two fingers moved inside of her forcefully; rubbing against her walls as she clamped down on them like her life depended on it. The swirl of the blonde’s thumb around her clit made everything worse, and all it took for her to see stars was one small push against her clit and curl of the fingers inside of her.

Lexa was coming so hard she couldn’t even remember all the reasons she hadn’t done this before. She gasped and moaned and tried to muffle her sounds with the pillow to her right, but it felt hopeless as the orgasm washed over her and Clarke continued to move inside of her. It’s never felt this way with anyone else, sure it’s been nice, sure she’s had really good times, but this was… this was strong and incredible and Lexa was going to be addicted to it because there was no way she wasn’t ever doing this again. The slack of her muscles around the fingers still moving inside of her, the wave of the pleasure running down her spine, clouding her thoughts, was too fucking good to deny. She wasn’t even embarrassed that Clarke hadn’t been there very long, too clouded by the heaven of her touch.

She isn’t sure when Clarke had followed, the rubbing on her thigh had been enough, and Clarke’s juices were all over her leg as she lay slack on top of Lexa, looking as if she’s feeling the exact same way. Her fingers aren’t moving anymore, but they hold still inside of Lexa, her walls clamping around them and releasing them repeatedly as if she wants more but she doesn’t know if she can handle it.

Clarke is huffing against her chest and Lexa can’t bring herself to think about anything but the way Clarke feels on top of her and inside of her. She’s so fuck in love that nothing in the world could make her stop thinking about the way Clarke smiles in the morning when they wake up. The way Clarke tells her how safe she feels with her and how important she is. The way Clarke mutters “I love you” at completely random times when Lexa isn’t doing anything but writing or complaining or cooking in that particular way she does. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about all the reasons she’s in love with Clarke Griffin, starting with the way she smiles like the sun and ending with the way she moans when she comes. Lexa doesn’t feel regret or guilt in this moment, she just feels consumed by love and it’s the scariest fucking feeling in the world.

“Let’s do that again.” Clarke hummed; warm breath cascading along the skin of Lexa’s neck that still felt like it was on fire. Her entire body was still on fire, satisfied and ready for more, and when Clarke’s fingers started moving again and she moaned, she was in no state to deny her or herself more.

She is so in love with Clarke, she’d follow her anywhere, the feeling makes everything more intense, makes her chest burn, makes her finally gain enough control to grab Clarke and show her just how she feels.

 

 

Clarke brushed her fingers through curly brown hair that was splayed out on the pillow beside her. Lexa looked peaceful, fast asleep and calm. Clarke still couldn’t help herself and leaned forward, brushing her lips against Lexa’s and nearly smiling when she sighed in her sleep. Clarke’s heart swelled so large she wasn’t sure that this feeling wouldn’t kill her.

She isn’t exactly sure when she fell madly in love with Lexa Woods, she just knows that it happened and it’s where she is right now. She never wants to be with anyone else again. She wants to lay here in this bed with her forever and never leave her side. Of course she couldn’t do that, of course she had other things to handle like the girl’s brother, which is something she nearly solved before she got here. Not that she could tell Lexa that.

Clarke had every intention of not coming. She told Matthew that it was over the day before Lexa was supposed to leave. He begged her to come anyways, stay for the week to see if her mind would change. Of course it didn’t, Clarke knew that it wouldn’t happen. She broke up with him for Lexa, and she would have told Lexa that if Matt hadn’t begged her not to tell anyone that they weren’t together. If he hadn’t begged her to just come and have thanksgiving with him and decide after.

 _“Just spend the week, my mom was really excited to meet you and Lexa could use a friend.”_ It’s like he knew, just knew that bringing her up would convince Clarke of anything. She’d literally do everything for this girl. This girl that now lies beside her, fast asleep, with a scatter of light crossing her skin from where it peaks in from the curtain. She looks so beautiful, so peaceful; Clarke’s heart actually aches where she lies beside her. It aches and aches because she’s so in love and all she wants to do is show her and tell her over and over again because she knows Lexa loves her too.

She moves forward so that she is pressing close enough that she can move her nose along the brunette’s, smiling slightly when she grumbles in her sleep. The sound is quiet but it fills Clarke’s entire being. This girl is her world; she doesn’t want to imagine a single aching second without her. What was she even doing before she had met her? Whatever it was, it surely wasn’t living.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers, too quietly to actually wake her if she’s not already waking up. The girl grumbles again and moves just slightly for Clarke to know she’s conscious. Her hand finds the blonde’s hip under the blanket and she just lays her palm there, content with the amount of contact it provides. Clarke brushes her nose against the girl’s again, and then her lips and Lexa kisses her back, lazily and with another grumble rising in her throat.

Clarke’s heart is pounding in her chest, aching with her feelings as she tries to scoot closer to the girl that lies beside her, shuffling her fingers through her hair and kissing her more attentively that Lexa actually moans. When Clarke finally pulls away to breath and press her forehead against Lexa’s she nearly laughs at Lexa small sound of disappointment.

She shuffles her fingers through her hair again. “I am so in love with you.” She whispers, her nose brushing Lexa’s again who stiffens slightly next to her. When her green eyes finally open they’re clouded with sleep and something else that Clarke can’t name, or doesn’t want to name as she launches forward and attaches her mouth to Clarke’s again. Clarke releases a soft sigh as she lets the brunette roll on top of her and deepen the kiss. Lexa pulls back from her mouth to start trailing kisses down her neck and Clarke moans when she reaches the spot right under the left side of her jaw. “Lexa,” She breathes but the girl doesn’t stop and keeps descending on a downward trail.

Clarke can feel Lexa’s feelings with every movement she makes. She can feel it in her gentle kisses on her skin, never bruising but enough that Clarke wishes it would. She can feel it in the way her fingers caress her body, sliding along her skin, touching her in ways that make her feel on fire. She can feel it in the way Lexa kisses her, wherever Lexa kisses her as she continues her descent downward, sliding her tongue into Clarke’s belly button causing her to arch and lift up from the bed slightly.

She can feel it when Lexa parts her legs to rest between them, she can feel it when Lexa takes her in and wastes no time in sliding her tongue through completely wet folds. She can feel it in the way she nibbles and sucks at that bud of nerves twisting Clarke’s stomach in such delight she can’t hold back the noises coming from her throat. She can feel it in Lexa’s long fingers that slide inside of her and press and press until they find that spot that makes every muscle inside of her ache with the pleasure of it. She can feel it in the way Lexa hums against her, feel it with every curl of her fingers against just that place inside of her that makes her wined tighter and tighter until all it takes is a little more of a push and Clarke is coming, moaning to loud for the little room they’re secluded in as she clenches tightly around the fingers inside of her and shakes against the girl on top of her.

And she can’t help herself when she says it, over and over and over. “I love you,” no matter how out of breathe, no matter how suddenly exhausted as the brunette slides back up her body, kissing every inch she finds as Clarke slumps into the bed below her. The only time she stops muttering it is when Lexa’s lips have attached to hers again, and even then she hasn’t stopped saying, she’s just speaking it in a different way.

“Clarke,” She whispers against her lips, voice laced with emotion as she pulls back, and Clarke can feel her heart pound, preying and hoping she’ll finally say it back. For once, of all the times that Clarke has admitted it, she’ll finally say it back. Clarke aches for it, even though she feels it, knows it in every one of Lexa’s looks and touches, she still wants to hear her say it.

But it doesn’t come.

It doesn’t come and Lexa’s eyes are filling with tears that make Clarke coo at her and coax the taller of the two against her, holding her as she buries her face in the blonde’s neck and slumps on top of her, surrendering to her feelings. It doesn’t come but Lexa cries with her love and folds into her like Clarke is her safe place, and for now it’s enough. Clarke can wait.

“You need to break up with my brother.” Lexa chokes out softly against her skin and Clarke can’t help the slight chuckle that rises from her throat. She shuffles her fingers through soft curly hair and kisses the girl’s head as Lexa sinks impossibly closer to her.

“I already have.” She whispers and hears a sigh of relief from above her, but Lexa does not make to move and Clarke doesn’t want her too. Instead she is content to lay like that with her until Clarke decides that it’s her turn again, and she makes Lexa come with how much she loves her.

She hopes that someday Lexa will say it back. After all, they have forever and Clarke is definitely not going anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it... feel free to leave feedback, or don't. You do you bud.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading. <3
> 
> tweet me @eiizashannah


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